Open Letter to Nintendo RE: Creators Program

Dear Nintendo,

In spite of the criticism your company has received with regards to your Creators Program, I want to give it the benefit of a doubt and wish to participate in the program for however much it's worth. Part of the reason is among the list of games that's part of your program is The Legend of Zelda series, because I've realized that of all these years of playing every Legend of Zelda game I got my hands on, I NEVER finished a single one of them except the one for the Game & Watch in 1989. And I want to work with you guys as I plan to do a series of gameplay videos featuring all the Legend of Zelda games released prior to Ocarina of Time.

So all I want is to ask you guys a few questions regarding the program, and all I need is your contact email. Very simple and very straightforward. This is where the problem lies.

What you will be seeing are a series of screenshots I took when navigating to your website just to find your contact information so I can ask my questions. I personally would prefer recording the whole ordeal using software like 'Fraps' or 'CamStudio', but unfortunately, those programs tend to crash for whatever the reason. So I am stuck with using these screenshots, but please bear with me on this.

So I hit your "Contact Us" button and I have two options. Regardless of what part of the American continents that I choose, I end up on the same page, and I have to use it anyway because I don't know that much Japanese. The information on the English page does not answer any of my questions. So I still need to contact you guys.

So I hit your other "Contact Us" button again, and I'm taken to this page. None of them are part of what I want to ask you guys, so I hit "Corporate Questions" and there, I see your Nintendo Creators Program. Regardless of what Issue I have (which I honestly don't have at all until now), I MUST fill out this form. And I cannot do that because the first thing is asking is for my Nintendo Creators Program ID, which I-do-not-have!

I don't want to join your program just so I can ask my questions! I just want to ask a couple of questions regarding your Creators Program, so I could make consideration on whether or not I should join you guys. I cannot do that because I HAVE TO JOIN THE PROGRAM FIRST like I'm a fish wanting to bite a hook with no bait in it because you, Nintendo, would think I would think "Oh! Maybe if I let myself get hooked, I can see a lot of bait to eat!" That's dumb!

Why can't you be like your Japanese branch?! Going back to the selection and if I choose Japanese, all you need to do is enter your e-mail address, your subject, and your message, and your done! It's that simple! That's all I ever wanted! WHY CAN'T YOU EVEN PROVIDE SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! DID MARIO SUCKER PUNCH YOU ALL SO HARD YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT PART OF THE WORLD YOU'RE IN???

Contacting you on the phone doesn't help either because I have to wait more than 30 minutes and I'm on a pre-paid phone! I'm not going to waste my phone minutes waiting for what's like forever just to answer some simple questions!

So it is with great regret that I cannot engage in doing gameplays of the Legend of Zelda games with your Creators Program, because as far as that program is concerned, you-guys-suck! But given that you are such a mega-corporation that ignores the whims and complaints of a person like myself, I am at liberty to say:

You are an a sitting, gundam chewing, caw sacking, mutter forking pizza sheet. I'll still consider getting your Nintendo Switch, nonetheless. But as far as your Creators Program is concerned, seriously, you guys suck.

Sincerely,
Ryoga316